As Each Day Passes….
“You will find yourselves experiencing a feeling of greater freedom and the sense of the lightening of a great load from your shoulders.
“The feeling of joy and happiness is now taking firm hold within your hearts and emotional bodies and it will be much easier for you to stay in a positive frame of mind with grace and ease, rather than the sense of struggle you experienced before.” (Master Hilarion through Marlene Swetlishoff, Jan. 16-23, 2011.)
When I look back on the journey that life has been, I sense a lifelong trend which is very hard to put into words. The nearest I can come to it is to think of emerging from one confining circumstance after another. To be suggestive, I could use a metaphor and compare it to a lobster or a crab endlessly growing and repeatedly moulting its shell.
Or an ape evolving into a human and the human evolving into an angel. Always it has felt like a movement from something duller to something brighter, something heavier to something lighter, something confining to something liberating. And it has been going on throughout life and now not only continues but accelerates.
With each passing week I feel better, brighter, more joyful, just as Master Hilarion said. Even in this latest epsiode of feeling burned out, my recovery took just one or two days. I was going by recollections of what burnout was like in past years – it took weeks or months to recover. But not a few days.
And there is something more. This is so hard to capture in words. I can feel it and know it. But it’s hard to describe.
There is an increasing sense of solidity, or stability, or groundedness. It’s gotten to be where I don’t really care what happens. If things are going well, this is good. If they are going poorly, I find myself saying these days, this is interesting. This will lead somewhere. Let’s see where it goes.
Or, oh, great, a breakdown. Where will the breakthrough come from? What will I learn from this?
I almost look forward to the breakdowns (OK, OK, not really). They are quite entertaining. How will we solve this one? Or what will we shed? Like the car in the ad from which the snow breaks away, revealing the shiny new car underneath, which then streaks away from the camera. I too feel as if some veil or obstruction is falling away.
I feel today the way I used to feel after a ten-day Vipassana retreat. Here I am on Day Ten. We used to calculate carefully whom we’d spend our first few minutes with after emerging from a ten-day retreat because, for about an hour, we sounded like saints. And we calculated who we’d like to see us in this space, whom we’d like to be saints with.
I feel as if I’m on Day Ten now. And I haven’t meditated in days, never mind ten days of meditating.
I don’t get things I want and I’m no longer fazed. I get things I don’t want and it doesn’t matter. In one strange sense, I’m not even here. I mean I am, but I’m not. Sometimes it feels like I’m just going through the motions. Feel hunger; swallow some food. Feel thirst; pour something down my throat. I might as well be on autopilot for all the interest I have in anything that once was the central focus of my life.
And it doesn’t feel scarey or off-base or like going down the wrong tunnel. But then all considerations of what might be wrong or off-base are suddenly no longer there.
This is going to sound weird, but it’s as if 3D won’t do it for me anymore. Even the best that 3D has to offer shows up like ho-hum. Trip to Mexico? Naw. Steak at the Keg? No, I’m happy with what I have in the fridge, thanks. Movie? Not unless it’s really, really good.
I’m happy just sitting here. Park my body. Forget what’s happening around me. Just breathe.
But not just breathe. This is all going somewhere. This ain’t the end of the journey. Y’know, if every day I’ve felt more and more like this in the recent past, then tomorrow this groundedness, stability, and equanimity should increase even more. Right? Why not? It has a lifelong trend to it. Why would it end here?
Well, time to close it down for the day. What hour is it? What day is it? Where am I? I’m here, in a space of deep peace and serenity, undisturbed, desiring nothing. THIS is awakening.
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and the awesome reality is that we are just infants in this stage of our ever increasing levels of consciousness. The fleeting glimpses of what we really are & are capable of doing/being that I receive from time to time are absolutely ineffable. Establish an excellent base now. You will glad you did!!
Steve:
Your insights in this piece are very similar to my own. I feel a definite detachment from 3D . . . living with one foot in 3D, and one foot in 4D/5D, except I usually feel like I have only one toe in 3D, and nine toes in 4D/5D
It is a not only a very good thing that you are experiencing a fine quality of detachment Steve, ….. but very necessary in the coming months and years for this quality to be passed along to your ever growing readership. …… Bravo!
A couple of weeks ago I went and sought my inner child: where I was before the whole ‘growing up’ thing came into consciousness for me. Since then I have felt much the same, better grounded and looking forward to what is coming, not so much pinned down by the past as I have been. Each day has become it’s own adventure into the future and I wake up looking forward to the changes that I will see today. I have told myself that I am at the same point as i was when I was so young, that I am in a phase of growing up again and that even tho I have some idea of what is to come, that I need to just sit back and take it on as it comes, not go rushing out looking for it, because it is all coming my way, just like it did when I was 3, sitting under an apple tree and playing with my trucks. I am able to feel the same sense of wonder as my world is opening up again, flowering before me.
Some life changes have happened recently: My GF and I have broken up, partly because of my health (rebuilt neck and all) and partly because she thinks I am ‘Out There’ with my interest in ETs and their craft. I now have my own room, which used to be Our computer room, complete with my own single bed. I can hear her talking and laughing on the phone with her new BF, and where I, only a few years ago, would have been terribly hurt and jealous of that situation, I can only hope that she is being happy. I feel detached from all of the angst and fears that I would have wallowed in and dwelled upon because I KNOW that there are major changes already happening, I can see and feel them. I have a very positive outlook on life and know that these changes are all for a reason, even if I cannot see that reason perfectly clearly yet, it is still there.
So I hear ya as to what you are feeling and going through, this too shall pass, like last night’s supper, and I will take from it what I need and get rid of the dross as soon as it is done processing. I am happy, grounded and waiting for the next things to manifest themselves, and not worrying about outcomes before they happen, knowing that I am able to handle ANYTHING that comes along because it will all happen for a reason.
In Service,
Chuck
Thank you for sharing this Steve! You put into words what I too have been feeling and I really enjoyed what you wrote, Chuck, because you too seem to be experiencing the beauty within this detachment of things mundane as also a greater love and tolerance for what and who we are detaching from.
I find myself not having to constantly choose where to stand on issues in my life; I can embrace it all and follow my heart without any feelings of separation. I find myself being happy and excited for no reason and also strangely protective and tender towards those who are not awake yet and continue to struggle with 3d issues.
I even get excited when faced with a problem because I know there really are no problems and I can’t wait to use my new awareness and understanding to resolve what I am being presented with – I call them banana skins from heaven! And it’s only going to get better and better! What an exciting time we are living . . .:)
So please Steve – and readers – continue to share your ongoing experiences. They are nothing short of validating, comforting and inspiring!
I understand what you are saying Steve. I sometimes feel so bored with my job and friends. No one I associate with knows about what is really happening and I feel sorry for them, but I really only want to think about and talk about the coming events. This can present a problem especially with my job. I lost my partner of 27 years last November and without this hope for the future I would not have been able to handle it, but now I wait for the coming changes and being able to see him again. He also was waiting for the Golden age but alzheimers didn’t wait. Thank you so much for this web site. I go to it all day for encouragment.
Thanks, Bobby. Your situation is one I’ve heard many people talk about, though not your loss of your partner.
I’m glad the site is working for you. We’re soon to be joined by other writers too.
Namaste,
Steve
Steve,
I could just kiss you. (feel that etheric one?)
This writing is full of tender sweetness and liberates me as I feel the same right alongside you.
It is truly enchanting, .. all this — and yes, ‘entertaining’ too.
These are the front row seats we have been told we have to enjoy.
It is ever so much fun to be seated next to you — and ALL of you.
I feel so blessed this moment,… this life.
Can you even imagine the glory to come?
And in that imagining is the reason we must sit so very still, I guess … to feel every delicious
morsel as it is happening.
I join the circle of family here to say once again how perfectly wonderful you are to be this for us … to keep the fire burning so we can all gather ’round.
Namaste dear one.
Thanks, Julie. I got it.
Steve